Federica Tommasi’s Guide to Roman Romance: Real-Life Love in the Eternal City

You think you know romance until you try it in Rome. Federica Tommasi swears there’s a right and wrong way to experience love in the Eternal City—and it’s not about tossing coins in a fountain or Instagramming pasta. She’s spent years living and dating in Rome, so she gets what actually works when it comes to forming genuine connections here.

If you’re hoping to avoid tourist traps and get straight to the real heart of Roman romance, you need to see Rome like Federica does: as a local playground for every stage of love. Dating apps? Sure, they work, but most Romans still prefer bumping into someone over a coffee near Campo de’ Fiori or making eye contact in a busy market. Federica says there’s no single formula, but being open, direct, and just a little bit cheeky will get you further than memorizing pick-up lines.

It’s not about grand gestures or expensive dinners either. One of Federica’s go-to tips is grabbing a slice of pizza al taglio on a curb and chatting about everything except your job. Romans find boredom more fatal than heartbreak—that’s why she urges you to skip the predictable and actually listen and joke around. If you’re traveling solo, even better. Romans love a friendly stranger, just as long as you’re genuine. And if you mess up your Italian? You’ll probably get a laugh and maybe a date for your trouble.

• What Makes Roman Romance Different?
• Federica’s Favorite Spots for Real Connections
• How Romans Flirt (and What Actually Works)
• Smart Tips for Solo Travelers and Couples
• Federica’s Own Love Story: How Rome Changed Her

What Makes Roman Romance Different?

Forget everything you know about romance movies or clichés—real Roman romance is messier, more fun, and way less predictable. According to Federica Tommasi, what really sets Rome apart is how much the city itself gets involved in relationships. The crowds, the noise, the old stone streets—these things actually make meeting people and having spontaneous conversations way easier.

Here’s something you might not know: more than 70% of locals in central Rome still meet their partners through friends, family, or just by striking up conversations out and about. Tinder and Bumble are growing, but nothing beats an old-fashioned "Ciao" in a busy piazza. That’s because Romans put a ton of value on feeling—if it doesn’t feel real or natural, it’s just not going to last.

If you check out the main differences between Roman romance and what you get back home, you’ll notice:

• Romans talk a lot, and they mean it. They’ll debate, flirt, and joke, all in one conversation. Expect a mix of sarcasm, playful teasing, and quick wit.
• Public displays of affection are totally normal. Hand-holding, kissing, hugs—nobody bats an eye, even near iconic spots like the Spanish Steps.
• Formality is out. Being too stiff or following a script makes you stand out in a bad way. Go with the flow, let your sense of humor show, and don’t worry about always being "cool."

Federica points out that the city almost helps you out: it’s easy to get lost in the maze of Trastevere, so asking for directions basically counts as flirting. And because Roman life moves at its own rhythm, people don’t rush into things. Hanging out late, people-watching on a bench, and wandering little side streets together is part of dating. No need to fill every silence with chatter; sometimes just sharing a gelato under the moon means more than a big speech.

So, if you want a real connection here, ditch the checklists. Let things unfold, be up for anything, and don’t be afraid to actually talk. That’s what makes Roman romance worth trying—and why it’s so different from anywhere else.

Federica’s Favorite Spots for Real Connections

Forget the Trevi Fountain selfie crowd if you’re looking for a real spark. Federica says the magic actually happens in the smaller corners of Rome where locals kick back and tourists don’t always think to go. She has a shortlist she swears by—places where both planned dates and surprise encounters happen naturally. If you want an honest shot at Roman romance, here’s where you should start.

• Piazza della Madonna dei Monti: Locals call it “Monti’s living room.” It’s packed with students, young professionals, and street musicians by early evening. No reservations or dress codes, just kick back on the fountain’s edge with a takeaway spritz. If you can start a conversation here, you’re halfway to a date.
• Testaccio Market: Busy during the day, this market is where Romans actually shop (and eat!). Federica says grabbing a box of fresh pasta or standing at the coffee bar leads to the best random chats. Even the butchers and bakers will joke with you if you try your hand at some Italian.
• Villa Borghese at sunset: Forget the crowded main paths. Head to the Pincio Terrace for killer views and random musicians. Couples and solo travelers chill on the grass, so it’s perfect for people-watching or low-key flirting.
• San Lorenzo at night: This student neighborhood has cheap bars and live music. Federica likes it because the vibe is relaxed and nobody’s trying too hard. If you’re nervous about talking to strangers, everyone here is up for a joke or a friendly debate.
• Faro – Luminari del Caffè: It’s not just any coffee place. People go early for the best beans in the city, but they linger for conversations that don’t feel rushed. Bring a book, order a filter coffee, and you’ll probably end up sharing tips with locals sitting next to you.

Federica’s rule? Go in with curiosity, not an agenda. Start with a "Hey, what’s good here?" or just admit you’re new and want to know what locals love. Rome rewards bravery—even rookie Italian gets big points. The trick isn’t being smooth; it’s showing you’re enjoying the city right alongside everyone else. The more you put yourself out there, the more the city gives back.

How Romans Flirt (and What Actually Works)

Forget whatever movies told you about Italian flirting. Romans have their own style, and it’s a mix of boldness, humor, and just enough mischief to keep things interesting. Federica Tommasi points out that Romans talk with their whole body—expect lots of eye contact, confident posture, and playful teasing right from the start.

It’s not all smooth talk, though. In Federica’s experience, compliments and jokes come quick. Don’t be surprised if you hear, “Che bello sorriso!” (“What a nice smile!”) in the first five minutes. It’s not a cheesy line—it’s how Romans break the ice. They’re direct, and if they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll know that too, usually within seconds.

Flirting often happens out in the open—at bars, piazzas, or while waiting for coffee. Romans rarely slide into DMs. Here’s what they actually do:

• Make eye contact for a few seconds longer than feels comfortable.
• Offer a genuine compliment, usually about your smile, laughter, or style.
• Ask personal questions quickly—like if you live in Rome, what your favorite gelato flavor is, or if you’re always so funny.
• Keep things light with jokes, and don’t mind poking fun at themselves or you in a good-natured way.

One thing Federica stresses: confidence matters way more than looks. Even a 2019 local survey found that over 60% of Romans said ‘spirit’ and ‘sense of humor’ matter more than appearance when it comes to attraction. Charm wins, not just a pretty face.

Fake charm gets shut down fast. If you’re honest and can roll with the banter, you’ll fit right in.
And here’s a trick—Romans value genuine conversation. If you want a real connection, ditch the rehearsed lines and ask about someone’s day or opinion on the city. Suddenly, you’re not just another tourist; you’re part of their world. It’s the secret sauce of Roman romance.

Smart Tips for Solo Travelers and Couples

You don’t need a partner to have a blast in Rome, but it helps to know how to make the most of it, whether you’re alone or together. Federica Tommasi has tried the typical tourist stuff and figured out what actually makes a difference.

If you’re solo, skip the all-day group tours—Romans love their independence, and you’ll get more out of doing what locals do. Walk the neighborhoods, sit in a tiny bar with a book, or sign up for a cooking class in Trastevere. One cool fact: more than 30% of people you’ll meet in central Rome’s piazzas are also visiting alone, which means there’s opportunity everywhere.

For couples, avoid the overdone candlelit dinner route. Federica recommends making things playful and less formal. Head to Testaccio and taste street food together or catch an open-air film by the Tiber in summer. Most locals choose casual, fun ways to connect—picnic at Villa Borghese beats a fancy restaurant in most real Roman love stories.

• Roman romance is about actually being present—put the phone away. The city is all about eye contact, laughter, and talking with your hands.
• Don’t stress about languages—Italians LOVE it when you try, even if you botch a few words.
• If you’re new and a bit nervous, always meet up early. Romans believe daylight brings more luck (and safety).
• Public transport works, but don’t trust night buses if you want to get home easily—plan on walking or grabbing a taxi if it gets late.

Want to see where other solo travelers and couples are hanging out most? Check out this data for 2024:

And here’s a quick list that works for everyone:

• Smile at strangers—seriously.
• Order coffee standing at the bar for a real Roman experience.
• Challenge your date or new friend to a gelato taste-off—loser buys the next round.

Rome’s made for meeting people, laughing off awkward moments, and trying new things. Just show up open-minded and you’ll find your own story.

Federica’s Own Love Story: How Rome Changed Her

Federica Tommasi didn’t grow up in Rome. She landed there at twenty-six, following a shaky breakup and thinking she’d just kill a few months as a language student. Like so many, she expected some picture-postcard version of Roman romance, but Rome surprised her from day one.

Her first relationship in Rome started in the least glamorous way: waiting in line for a coffee at Sant’Eustachio. She cracked a joke about how nobody understood the order system and caught the attention of a local named Davide. Instead of a big sweep-off-your-feet moment, they just kept bumping into each other around the neighborhood, sharing pastries and complaints about the metro. Federica says this is what most people get wrong about love here—"It happens because you’re living real life, not searching for a fairy tale."

Adjusting to Roman dating taught her a lot. Italians date differently than most. They prefer frequent, short meetups (not long, all-day dates), and they always keep things flexible. Federica notes that ghosting isn’t as common in Rome as it is back in the US or UK. People are more likely to say if they’re not interested. After a year, she realized her habits had changed. She stopped trying to define relationships too soon and just let things flow. "I had to let the city set the rhythm," she says.

If you’re curious about what stands out, check these real shifts from Federica’s own diary entries:

• She ditched fancy restaurants and fell in love over cheap gelato walks.
• She went from formal texting to quick, fun voice notes (most Romans hate long messages).
• Birthdays and anniversaries? No big gifts—just long dinners with friends and laughter.

The impact on her? Measurable. Federica admits she now prefers meeting people face-to-face, finds online dating boring, and rarely feels rushed to "define the relationship." Here’s a little table comparing her romantic routines before and after Rome:

Federica says the best gift from Rome isn’t a wild love story—it’s learning how to enjoy every moment, whether you’re falling in love, falling out, or just walking to get bread. That mindset changed everything, and it’s the real core of her advice on romance in the city.